Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Weird Hunger

I've finally put two and two together and realized I have a strange appetite now that I'm pregnant. Sometimes I'm hungry in the morning, sometimes I'm not (but I make myself eat a delicious bagel every morning regardless); I'm ALWAYS STARVING at lunch -- I eat so much and still feel hungry (like right now); and at dinner time, food is the last thing I want. I'm not nauseous or anything at dinner time, but I just have no appetite. I wonder if that's normal. Then, I'll get hungry at like 9 or 10 when I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

10 Weeks Prego

Only two weeks to go until I'm in the clear. Please pray for me.

I woke up this morning with some odd-feeling cramps. Not like the cramps I've been experiencing throughout my whole pregnancy. But scary cramps. I'm trying to think back to how I felt when I had my miscarriage -- did my cramps feel like this then, too?

This past Sunday I had to take my husband to the ER for a horrific reaction to a hornet sting. I was VERY worked up about it all because I know people can die from bad allergic reactions... and he looked horrible. I then got nervous that during our scare, I might've done something to my baby/pregnancy. And of course, now today I have these weird cramps.

I'm hoping they're just gassy cramps. Please let it be gas. (ha)

Friday, July 24, 2009

Thank GOD!

I just got back from my doctor appointment (thankfully clients were VERY high-maintenance today, so my day FLEW by) and all is well! I'm technically 9.5 weeks today, however, my baby is measuring 10 weeks, which is good news.

I'm still freaking out a little bit because my progesterone is 9.4 and my doctor explained to me that I have an 83-86% chance of having a healthy pregnancy. That's no 100%, I'll tell ya. It makes me nervous, but I will continue to stay positive and pray and everything will be OK.

I have an appointment in two weeks. Lets hope they're not the longest two weeks of my life.

Today is Going to D-R-A-G

It's only 8:30 in the morning and my appointment with my OB isn't until 3p. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day in an OK-state-of-mind. I have meetings galore today. Is that a good thing or bad thing? It might keep my mind off my appointment at 3p, but the appointment on my mind might distract me from my meeting and cause problems as a result.

I've prayed so much this week and am praying that I will have a wonderfully happy weekend with my husband and 9.5 week old baby in my belly.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I Want to Feel Like Shit

So, not only is it crazy that women who've experienced miscarriage wish away their first trimester, but women who experienced miscarriage also want to feel like shit.

I don't.

Some days I feel kinda gross, but other days (like recent days), I don't feel bad AT ALL. Of course, this makes me wonder, am I going through another miscarriage? God... I hope not. Please no.

I haven't felt "growing" cramps since Sunday (it's Thursday), I've had a headache pretty much all week and this morning I woke up and my boobs didn't hurt.

I just wish I would start projectile vomiting all over the place or feel so bad that I can't even get out of bed -- just so I know everything is OK.

Please let everything be OK.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Want to Cry Wolf

So, I'm back in the state of mind that I'm not pregnant anymore. I'm still exhausted and my boobs still hurt and are pretty big, but I'm not starving like I have been, I still have this headache, and I haven't had cramps since Sunday morning. I'm freaking out.

When I had my miscarriage, I continued to feel sleepy, my boobs continued to be large and sore and I had a funky headache that wouldn't go away.

It's Wednesday. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to make it until 3p on Friday to see my doctor.

I so badly want to call the doctor office and say that I experienced some bleeding and ask if I can go in for an ultrasound... but I fear that crying wolf is only going to jinx my chances of this pregnancy continuing and me getting a great gift at the end of it all. So, I won't call. At least, I won't call and make up a lie. If anything, I will call and explain my fears and see if they will take me a few days early for my appointment.

I can't think straight I am so nervous.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Weird posts

I'm not sure why my previous two posts got reversed, but they did. Just FYI.

All is well so far

I was so nervous for my doctor appointment when I was 7 weeks pregnant -- I didn't feel pregnant anymore. I truly felt as though I had lost all my symptoms.

Well, things are going great. I should've been measured at 7 weeks 2 days (based on my ultrasound from the week prior), but I measured 7 weeks 6 days, which is great news. My baby is growing healthily and my doctor seemed very pleased.

I received my progesterone test back. Prior to taking my blood, my doctor told me that anything below 5 was bad -- that means a definite miscarriage. She likes to see a 9-10 progesterone level in her patients... and loves to see a level above 11. I was at a 9.4. My doctor is happy... I am happy. Let's hope this 9.4 sticks and all goes well with the pregnancy.

I'm so glad this appointment gave me peace of mind during my family vacation.

9 weeks and counting...

It's so sad that women who go through miscarriages wish their first trimester away. The day I found out I was pregnant I couldn't wait to be past the 12 week mark so I could enjoy my pregnancy and be filled with happiness and joy instead of fear.



Today is 9 weeks (although, my last ultrasound makes it seem like I'm further along) and yesterday I started getting a KILLER headache. I am well aware that headaches in pregnancy are common, however, during my last pregnancy, I didn't have any headaches and the week I started getting them was the week I miscarried. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence, but thankfully I go back to my doctor this Friday (God bless a doctor who is sensitive to high-maintenance patients who've been through tragedy before) for another ultrasound and checkup -- hopefully all will be well.



Women should be able to ENJOY their pregnancy from the moment they see two lines on the stick... I cannot wait until the day when I'm able to fully enjoy this pregnancy and not feel like I'm in a constant state of worry.

Friday, July 10, 2009

It's D Day... this week, at least

I still feel as though I'm not pregnant anymore. I had cramping two nights ago that lasted until yesterday morning, but I truly just feel that I'm not pregnant.

But... today is D Day... sort of.

I'm going back to the doctor to get my progesterone test results and get another internal ultrasound. I'm freaking out. My appointment isn't for another 6 hours -- getting thru the work day is going to be rough.

And to top it off, I leave for vacation tonight with my husband and my family. What if something isn't right at the doctor's office? What then?

I'm trying not to think the worst, but I also feel as though I need to prepare myself in case the worst happens... again.

I've been OK waiting all week, but today is going to be a killer.

I will pray all day. Please pray for me too.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Still Scared

I wrote the previous post today because I realized I forgot to update this blog the past few days -- I wanted to get everyone up to speed on the pregnancy and what things were expected during it.

Today I am either 7 weeks or 7 weeks 1 day and I am really freaking out. The cramps have stopped. Since I started getting cramps, I've had them a few times every day. It reassured me that everything was OK with my pregnancy. My body was adjusting as it needed and things were running smoothly.

But yesterday I realized I had zero symptoms, including the cramps that I've had daily... and today I have zero symptoms. I'm freaking out. I don't want to lose this baby. The only symptoms I still have is that my boobs are sore -- but the more I think about it, I think my boobs stayed sore during my last pregnancy, after I had already lost the baby. I'm not sure I can handle another miscarriage and have been praying daily. I go back to see the doctor on Friday and am keeping my fingers crossed.

First Appointment

All went well at the first appointment. I went last Friday -- I was 6 weeks 2 days. Everything looked good and we saw the heartbeat flutter. I was a happy camper.

The doctor told me because we saw the heartbeat, I had a 92% chance of having a healthy pregnancy, but she then went on to tell me she was going to test my progesterone to see if it was high enough to sustain a pregnancy. If my progesterone level is lower than 5, I will definitely miscarry. If it's between 6-10, it's sort of up in the air. If it's 11 or higher, then the chance of having a successful pregnancy is VERY good. I got the bloodwork drawn on Monday and have another appointment to see my doctor this Friday. I'm keeping positive thoughts.

I learned during my appointment that the little things that made me nervous that I might be miscarrying are actually fine signs of pregnancy -- including cramps. The cramps are just the uterus expanding, allowing room for the baby. I was very happy to know that.