Thank GOD!

I just got back from my doctor appointment (thankfully clients were VERY high-maintenance today, so my day FLEW by) and all is well! I'm technically 9.5 weeks today, however, my baby is measuring 10 weeks, which is good news.

I'm still freaking out a little bit because my progesterone is 9.4 and my doctor explained to me that I have an 83-86% chance of having a healthy pregnancy. That's no 100%, I'll tell ya. It makes me nervous, but I will continue to stay positive and pray and everything will be OK.

I have an appointment in two weeks. Lets hope they're not the longest two weeks of my life.

Today is Going to D-R-A-G

It's only 8:30 in the morning and my appointment with my OB isn't until 3p. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day in an OK-state-of-mind. I have meetings galore today. Is that a good thing or bad thing? It might keep my mind off my appointment at 3p, but the appointment on my mind might distract me from my meeting and cause problems as a result.

I've prayed so much this week and am praying that I will have a wonderfully happy weekend with my husband and 9.5 week old baby in my belly.

I Want to Feel Like Shit

So, not only is it crazy that women who've experienced miscarriage wish away their first trimester, but women who experienced miscarriage also want to feel like shit.

I don't.

Some days I feel kinda gross, but other days (like recent days), I don't feel bad AT ALL. Of course, this makes me wonder, am I going through another miscarriage? God... I hope not. Please no.

I haven't felt "growing" cramps since Sunday (it's Thursday), I've had a headache pretty much all week and this morning I woke up and my boobs didn't hurt.

I just wish I would start projectile vomiting all over the place or feel so bad that I can't even get out of bed -- just so I know everything is OK.

Please let everything be OK.

Want to Cry Wolf

So, I'm back in the state of mind that I'm not pregnant anymore. I'm still exhausted and my boobs still hurt and are pretty big, but I'm not starving like I have been, I still have this headache, and I haven't had cramps since Sunday morning. I'm freaking out.

When I had my miscarriage, I continued to feel sleepy, my boobs continued to be large and sore and I had a funky headache that wouldn't go away.

It's Wednesday. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to make it until 3p on Friday to see my doctor.

I so badly want to call the doctor office and say that I experienced some bleeding and ask if I can go in for an ultrasound... but I fear that crying wolf is only going to jinx my chances of this pregnancy continuing and me getting a great gift at the end of it all. So, I won't call. At least, I won't call and make up a lie. If anything, I will call and explain my fears and see if they will take me a few days early for my appointment.

I can't think straight I am so nervous.

9 weeks and counting...

It's so sad that women who go through miscarriages wish their first trimester away. The day I found out I was pregnant I couldn't wait to be past the 12 week mark so I could enjoy my pregnancy and be filled with happiness and joy instead of fear.



Today is 9 weeks (although, my last ultrasound makes it seem like I'm further along) and yesterday I started getting a KILLER headache. I am well aware that headaches in pregnancy are common, however, during my last pregnancy, I didn't have any headaches and the week I started getting them was the week I miscarried. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence, but thankfully I go back to my doctor this Friday (God bless a doctor who is sensitive to high-maintenance patients who've been through tragedy before) for another ultrasound and checkup -- hopefully all will be well.



Women should be able to ENJOY their pregnancy from the moment they see two lines on the stick... I cannot wait until the day when I'm able to fully enjoy this pregnancy and not feel like I'm in a constant state of worry.